Mah Mom is "soo tiwed" she say so I tooked ova da compoota and say, "No, Mom. I wite da bwog today." So Mom dot me a pet. Its a kitty kat! I luuuub kats! Dey wun fwom me awot but it ok cuz I chase dem and lub all ova dem! Dis kat mom say I cant see until it get mow used to it here. I fink I should be able to lub on it and it be just fine. Silly mom. She dont no much sumtime.
I stay home all da time. Mom been takin me fah wides dough when she get home cuz I fink she feel bad dat I be here all day wong wifout her. I miss her when she not here but I weally wike to sweep in da bed wifout her big butt twing ta maked me move all da time. I stwetch out and do whateva I want. Sumtimes, I even go frough da trash just to make suwe she not frowing good stuff away.
Mom say it bed time. How come whateva she says go? I fink I shuld be da boss. Mom say no and dere be sumthin bout her that make me listen...I dont even wun out da door anymore. Mom say she tiwed of wunning afta me. Oh. Tonight we was walkin and we seed dis dumb heffa gwab her doggy fwiend by da collah and frow him! Mom yelled at da idiot and sed she be callin animal contwol on da dumb heffa. Dat wady yelled at mah mom! My mom was tuff dough. She didnt move a muscle. I fink she culda huwt her. Mom was maaaaaad. She called da animal contwol and dey was cwosed but bwight and erly tomowwow, she callin dem. Dat wytch gonna get hers.