I seem to be going through a lot of them lately. I will be out on my own completely in the next few weeks and I'm so excited but scared too. I don't know if I am going to try to find a short term lease or move into a home with a room to rent. I want so badly to be on my own that it's clouding my better judgement I think. Whatever decision I make, I will make it and be better for it as I always have been. I don't live my life to regret things although I sometimes do but I am always better because of the mistakes I make.
I am going back to church. I credit all of the good things I'm doing to Abby. I don't ever want her to be disappointed that I am her aunt. I don't ever want her to think for a second that I did something stupid or things I shouldn't have done. I love her soo much and I want to be sealed to her one day. I want to be sealed to all of my family! I am finally to a point that I want to find a nice mormon guy who is strong in the church and has a testimony and wants to live it! I'm certainly not the strong one when it comes to that part of life so I need someone else who can be. It's nice though to feel at home in a ward because I haven't felt that in a really long time and love it here! It's awesome and I can't wait to get my temple recommend so I can get my family's temple work done!
For the first time in a long time I can say that life is awesome and I'm loving it!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
There once was a shining Christmas tree
Standing out where all could see.
Its brilliance captured every eye
And seemed to cheer each passer-by.
"The lights are so bright," they would say
And hesitate to walk away.
The tree stood proud ablaze with light
For every light was burning bright.
Then one bulb was heard to say
"I'm tired of burning night and day;
I think I'll just go out and rest
For I'm too tired to do my best;
Besides, I am so very small
I doubt if I'd be missed at all."
Then a child lovingly touched the light,
"Look, Mother, this one shines so very bright.
I think of all the lights upon the tree
This one looks the best to me."
"Oh my goodness," said the light.
"I almost dimmed right out of sight.
I thought perhaps no one would care
If I failed to shine my share."
With that a glorious brilliance came
For every light had felt the same.
Our Gospel, like this Christmas tree,
With little lights which are you and me,
We all have a space that we must fill
With love, and lessons and good will.
Let's keep our tree ablaze with light
With testimonies burning bright.
For our Gospel is a living tree
That lights our way to eternity.