Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I seem to be going through a lot of them lately. I will be out on my own completely in the next few weeks and I'm so excited but scared too. I don't know if I am going to try to find a short term lease or move into a home with a room to rent. I want so badly to be on my own that it's clouding my better judgement I think. Whatever decision I make, I will make it and be better for it as I always have been. I don't live my life to regret things although I sometimes do but I am always better because of the mistakes I make.

I am going back to church. I credit all of the good things I'm doing to Abby. I don't ever want her to be disappointed that I am her aunt. I don't ever want her to think for a second that I did something stupid or things I shouldn't have done. I love her soo much and I want to be sealed to her one day. I want to be sealed to all of my family! I am finally to a point that I want to find a nice mormon guy who is strong in the church and has a testimony and wants to live it! I'm certainly not the strong one when it comes to that part of life so I need someone else who can be. It's nice though to feel at home in a ward because I haven't felt that in a really long time and love it here! It's awesome and I can't wait to get my temple recommend so I can get my family's temple work done!

For the first time in a long time I can say that life is awesome and I'm loving it!!

The Gospel Tree

There once was a shining Christmas tree
Standing out where all could see.
Its brilliance captured every eye
And seemed to cheer each passer-by.
"The lights are so bright," they would say
And hesitate to walk away.
The tree stood proud ablaze with light
For every light was burning bright.
Then one bulb was heard to say
"I'm tired of burning night and day;
I think I'll just go out and rest
For I'm too tired to do my best;
Besides, I am so very small
I doubt if I'd be missed at all."
Then a child lovingly touched the light,
"Look, Mother, this one shines so very bright.
I think of all the lights upon the tree
This one looks the best to me."
"Oh my goodness," said the light.
"I almost dimmed right out of sight.
I thought perhaps no one would care
If I failed to shine my share."
With that a glorious brilliance came
For every light had felt the same.
Our Gospel, like this Christmas tree,
With little lights which are you and me,
We all have a space that we must fill
With love, and lessons and good will.
Let's keep our tree ablaze with light
With testimonies burning bright.
For our Gospel is a living tree
That lights our way to eternity.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I'm getting excited!

I hate living with people. It sucks major and I want to be able to do things on my own and not have to think about how anyone else is going to feel about it. I look around and there are so many things that I would do differently and we are all that way but I find it really hard to not say anything. I have a hard time not voicing my opinions and it is only getting more difficult. My goal is to be on my own by February 1st and be completely moved in to my own place. I'm petrified but I'm looking forward to it as well.

My wish is to have everything exactly like I want it. I have stuff picked out that I am going to buy and I only have to make sure that I will have room for it all as I will only be able to get something small and may not have any room for things like bookcases and such but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

My only real concern is making sure it is close enough that I can still go see Abby more than just on the weekends. I love her in case you didn't know. :)

So any tips are welcome! I'm open to suggestions and advice too.

Friday, October 24, 2008

40 Secrets

Do you like to sleep​ naked​?​SOMETIMES
Where​ was your defau​lt pictu​re taken​?​In Jen's spare bedroom
What'​s your middl​e name?​LaShay
Whats​ your curre​nt favor​ite color​?​pink, blue, red, black
What is your curre​nt mood?​I'm getting sleepy

When is your birth​day?​July 7
What color​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​PINK
If you were going​ on a Reali​ty TV show,​ which​ one would​ it be?Big Brother
Ever had a near death​ exper​ience​?​Not really
Last bever​age you had?cran-apple juice

Somet​hing you do a lot?WORK
How old will you be in 12 month​s?27
Do you want to see someb​ody right​ now?SURE
When was the last time you cried​?​Tonight. I'm stressed but I'm ok. :)
Who would​ you do anyth​ing for?My niece, sister, parents
Who is your hero?​My sister! She makes people!
Ameri​can Pie or Super​bad?​neither
Would​ you ever take one of your ex's back?​No, once I'm done. I'm done.
What did you do last night​?​Worked and then came home and went to sleep immediately.
What was the first​ thing​ you thoug​ht this morni​ng?​Why am I falling off the bed?
Who is the last perso​n that made you smile​?​Heather.
Have you ever fell TRULY in love?yes, once.
What was your last text you recieved and from who?From Jen, "They just showed up for the mazda"
What was the last text you sent and to who?To Sidny, "OK."
Do you miss someone and who?I miss my family, Luanne and Sidny.
Do you work?YEAH
Where do you work?T-Mobile until I'm out of school.
Do you enjoy your life?yes! Especially on the days I see Abby!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sidny is....

going to be missed desperately. She is THE funniest person I've met thus far. She has also become one of my very best friends and knows things that a lot of others don't. She gives me advice when I want it and sometimes when I don't and I love her for it. I love her for the things that she does and the things she doesn't do. She has come to feel like family to me and it's great. I feel like I have another sister. I love you girl! I hope things are awesome in Jersey and you don't forget who loves you most!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


is good. Things are definitely looking up from where they were a month or so ago.

I started with T-Mobile where I will work while getting my degree. The money is decent for not having a degree and it seems that the perks are pretty good too. A cheap phone bill is definitely the biggest one of them all...aside from being paid, of course.

Abby is wonderful and I see her as much as I can. I need to start getting up earlier and going over in the morning instead of at night and maybe her Mommy and Daddy will get some sleep then. I would love to make a job out of being with her all day. If anyone can figure it out, let me know and I will be more than happy to listen. ;)

I should be getting my car back soon. I'm loving my rental but it is starting to feel like it really is mine and I'm thinking that shouldn't happen. It gets great gas mileage, especially compared to the Escape but I love my car too. I just hope when I get it back that it doesn't drive completely off. Besides, I didn't have it long enough to really notice a difference unless it is just awful.

So that's all of the positives in a nutshell. My one negative is huge and I started to not say anything because my heart breaks when I think about it, but my friend Sid is moving back to New Jersey. I'm so sad for me but I'm so happy for her because I truly think this will be one of the best things she has done. Sid is a special person who deserves and wants so much more than she is getting in TN. Besides, I like to travel and Jersey might become my new favorite place. And that's all I can say about that because now I'm about to cry. I'm going to miss you Sid. You have become my best friend in Nashville and I thank you for the friendship and good times. You will be awesome in Jersey!

And General is good too. Sid let him eat a chicken off her butt. How much better does it get?!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

She's here!!!

I was trying to wait until Jen and Mikal had updated their blog to announe Abby but I can't wait anymore! Abigail Caitlyn was born on September 26, 2008. She weighed 6lbs 12oz, and was 20 1/2 inches long! She is beautiful! She has a head full of blonde hair and I hope that it gets very curly like her Aunt Jackie's. She is perfect in every way and she already has me wrapped around her teeny tiny finger.

Jen and Mikal are doing great! Mikal is very hands on (moreso than I thought he would be) and Jen is doing awesome with everything as well. Abby's Granny is back in Arkansas now and surprisingly didn't cry the whole trip home but we had a good trip here.

As soon as I get home to Nashville, I will post pics of the baby for the world to see.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I've come to realize....a Survey of sorts...

1. I've come to realize that my car... is really super cute!
2. I've come to realize that my job...sucks but I love the people.
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...I sing really loud
4. I've come to realize that I need...to stop obsessing.
5.I've come to realize that I have lost... a lot of opportunities because of my last relationship.
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...I put effort into something and get no response.
7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...I lose my clothes.
8. I've come to realize that money... isn't everything.
9. I've come to realize that certain people.... will never understand how to make a relationship work.
10. I've come to realize that I'll always be... wonderful!
11. I've come to realize that my sister(s)... makes pretty babies!
12. I've come to realize that my mom... is more accepting than I thought!
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ... doesn't ring from the one person I need to hear from and it isn't who you think it is.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning... my back was hurting.
15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...I wanted to cuddle with a certain someone.
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking.....that it didn't bother me at all to see Cliff with someone else.
17. I've come to realize that my dad...loves me more than I thought.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace... I always have too much to respond to.
19. I've come to realize that today...sucked ass except for a few times when I had contact with my someone.
20. I've come to realize that tonight... ended well as I got to hold Abby.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will... work.
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...be in a relationship again instead of "dating."
23.I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost is....I dunno.
24.I've come to realize life...has handed me lemons and I've made lemonade.
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...is going to be awesome and I am soo excited!
26.I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...is not country.
27. I've come to realize that my friends...are always there for me no matter what it is.
28. I've come to realize that this year...has been really difficult for me in a lot of ways but I have overcome everything.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Here's the deal.

I'm tired of being talked about. I'm tired of people thinking that I don't try to take care of my responsibilities. I want to do things for Abby and I feel it is my place to do so when she needs something. I know everybody doesn't realize the bills that I have. Here are the ones I am willing to share with you: Rent, car payment, insurance, cell phone, cable/internet/phone, electric, food, general's flea stuff. Everything else is MY business and it doesn't matter. I'm sorry that I don't do things the way everybody else wants me to do them. All I can say is that I have to live my life, you don't. I know people care and that's great but why do you have to tell me the best way to do things? We've all made mistakes and when you were making yours, I didn't jump in and tell you that you were messing up. I let you make them because that is the only way you learn and there are things I see as wrong that others don't and vice versa.

I have a request. Instead of talking between everyone thinking I don't know ya'll are doing it, please just come to me and have a conversation with ME instead. You will find that I'm not the bitch everyone makes me out to be. I love ya'll and I appreciate ya'll but if you have to talk about me, then just go away and leave me alone and I'll do this all on my own.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

All About Me

Your Life In 200 QuestionsBE COMPLETELY HONEST

200) My middle name is: LaShay

199) I was born in: 1982

198) I am really: tired of feeling like I am looked down upon.

197) My phone is: charging

196) My eye color is: bluish green

194) My height is: 4'10

193) I am allergic to: stupidity

192) I was born on: July 7

191) I am annoyed by: rude people.

190) Last book you read: I don't have a clue.

189) My bed is: I don't have a bed.

188) my favorite Holiday is: Thanksgiving.

187) The last four cds i bought were: I don't have a clue.

186) Are you living at home?: No.

185) Do you have any siblings?: Yes.

184) What did you do yesterday? Bought a car after I worked all day.

:::I Do /Do Not Believe In:::

141) Luck? Yes

140) Fate?: Yes

139) Yourself? Not lately but I'm trying to change that.

138) Aliens?: Yes.

137 Heaven?: Of course.

134 Horoscopes?: No but they are fun to read.

133 Soulmates?: Yes and I hope to fnd mine.

:::Which is Better?:::

129 Hugs or Kisses? Kisses.

128 Drunk or High? Neither.

125 Blondes or Brunettes? Blondes.

124 Hot or cold?: Cold

123 Summer or winter? Winter

121 Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Vanilla

120 Night or day? Day, I stay busy therefore I don't think.

119 Oranges or Apples?: Apples

118 Curly or Straight hair? I've always wanted strait but I'm learning to like my curls.

:::Here's What I Think About:::

116 Abortion...... How about we don't go there?

115 Backstabbers....i have no use for them

::Last time I:::

100 Hugged someone?: Today

101 Saw someone: A few hours ago as I was walking General.


90 Who is the ditziest person you know: Ashley Brooke

89 Who makes you laugh the most? Sidny

88 Last movie you watched? Penelope

82 What I don't understand is: why people aren't consistant and why people are so very selfish when others are in need.

80 The most unsatisfying answer I've ever received is: I love you, I didn't mean for this to happen.

76 Something I will really miss when I leave home is? What else could I possibly miss but General?

75 The thing I'm looking forward to the most is: getting my car paid off and having things of my own soon.

74 Things that make you mad: not being able to do for myself like I feel like I should.

73 Tom: is my best friend.

72 Today? Is over, thank goodness.

71 Next Summer: I will be on my own and life will be great!

70 This Weekend: I am moving and working.

67 People call me: a bitch but that's ok cuz I'm looking out for me and General and that's it.

62 The person(s) who knows the most about me is: Luanne.

60 The most difficult thing to do is: get over the past.

59 I have gotten a speeding ticket: twice within a month.

58 The first person I talked to today was? Jen.

54 First time you had a crush: 2nd grade.

53 The one person who I can't hide things from? Luanne and Jen.

52 Last time someone said something you were thinking: today.

51 Right now I am talking to: Myself.

50 What is your dream job: If I knew that, I would have a degree in that field.

49 First job?: babysitting but first real job was Sargent's Texaco.

47 I have these pets: General, a 2 year old farting boston terror.

46 I wish: I could snap my fingers and this would all be over and I would have come out on top.

44 The person that makes me cry the most is: Jen at this point.

43 Best sound in the world?: Abby's heartbeat.

42 Who makes you happy? General.

35 Myspace or Facebook:myspace

30 Mexican food or Chinese? Mexican and Sushi.

32 My favorite color is: Pink

29 My computer is: broken.

28 MY Favorite food: pizza and chicken.

27 Last person who made you sad: Jen and Mikal collectively.

26 Person you secretly like?: Noone. I'm done.

25 Favorite place: Anywhere with no stress and no bills.

24 Favorite song: Carrie Underwood's version of I Told You So

23 Paper or plastic?: I don't care.

22 The all-time best movie(s) is/are: I dunno.

21 The all-time best feeling in the world is: Being in love.

19 What color is your hairbrush: black

18.Favorite shoes? heels and flip flops

17 I lose all respect for people who: cheat and lie

15 Color of the room you are in right now?: white

14 TV channels you watch?: HGTV

13 Best Feature in the opposite sex: Eyes & Lips

12 Best feature in you? My eyes

11 The worst pain I was ever in? After I had surgery and was getting back in the bed.

9 Favorite TV Shows: So You Think You Can Dance...I dunno.

6 Greatest Fear: snakes, and loving someone again

3 Who broke your heart?: Cliff...several times over.

1 biggest regret: Not finishing school sooner.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Let's start a trend.

Since few of us are good at communication (deny it all you want), I say we all start blogs and link 'em up. Just a thought...

So, I took Jen's lead and decided that since I am not that great at emailing and keeping up with it that a blog may be better and if anyone has anything to say or ask, feel free. I try to keep in touch. I really do but it just seems to get pushed back when life gets busy.

As everybody knows, I am getting a divorce from Cliff. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know we aren't good together and he knows that as well as everyone else but it doesn't make it any easier. At this point I feel like I will never love anyone like I have loved him but I know that isn't true because my soulmate is out there and he is waiting for me to not have such a crazy life so he can come rescue me. I sure hope he wears a cowboy hat while riding his white horse. He can substitute Wranglers for the armor too. If anybody sees him, tell him I said that.

I am doing pretty good. I am in Nashville with Jen and I am starting a job for Suntrust Bank on Monday. I'm super excited. I have to get dress clothes now but that's not a bad trade off. I will hopefully be able to get enough money by January to move into my own place. The latest will be March though. I'm excited to be starting over here. It's a great city and there is plenty of stuff to keep me busy. I left some great friends behind in AL but it isn't hard to travel. Change is good and we all know I like change and I like making decisions on a whim which is how I ended up here anyway.

General is doing well. He just had his yearly shots and the vet said he is beautiful and healthy which is a huge relief because I couldn't live with myself if something was wrong with him. He does well here. There is a busy hiway for him to run across and make me chase him down so he's happy. Crazy dog. It scares me to death when he does that. One day I'll have a house and a huge yard with a fence for him. Until then, he'll give me heartattacks.

So, that's my update for now. Anything else you want to know, just ask and I will tell. Love ya'll!