...has grown so much. I don't even know where to begin. When I think of the things that I have done in the past, I am so ashamed and grateful at the same time. Ashamed because I knew better but grateful because we have a Heavenly Father who is forgiving and knows our heart. I have come to know the church much better in the past 6 months than I ever have. I love going on Sundays and feel like my entire week is thrown off when I don't go. It's not a choice for me anymore but something that I have to do. I love going to church and learning and drawing from other people.
I wish that I could have been this strong when I was married. I often wonder if we could have made it if we had gone to church together and tried to live it. We were both too stubborn though. I know that I have the true Church in my life and he thought he did. I refuse to be with anyone now who isn't LDS. I know the hardships and I want to be married in the temple. I want all of the blessings that I can have and I am working hard to get them! I have no desire to do the things I used to do. I think back on it now and I can't believe some of the stuff I have subjected myself to. I'm lucky nothing bad ever happened.
We are taking a trip to Nauvoo, IL. I'm beyond excited! I've been looking at youtube videos and they make me cry (not much doesn't anymore) but I'm SO excited to get away and see the history. I want to walk where the pioneers walked and I would LOVE to be temple worthy and be able to attend a session in the Nauvoo temple. One day. I just have to talk to the Bishop first and that's a whole other blog post.
For now, I am going to read scriptures and write my testimony for my friend who is receiving one of the Books of Mormon that I got from the missionaries. I just don't know who the 3rd is going to but I'm confident that I will know shortly.
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