A rundown of things

When you go to work and come home, go to church and come home, and don't really do anything else, not a lot happens but there has been a little action.

I'm divorced. I just got my final papers in the mail. I'm relieved that I got them and I'm glad that it is final and I don't have to worry about it any longer. I do still talk to him a little though and the kids are doing ok so I guess all is well.

I'm not going to Nauvoo for my endowments. In stead I'm going to Nashville. I'm telling myself that it isn't about the destination, it's all about the ordinance. So far, it's working although I will go back to Nauvoo and do an endowment session for someone that has been waiting and that makes me happy.

September 6 @ 5pm I get my Patriarchal Blessing. I should have done this years ago but I wasn't ready by any means. Some of us take longer than others. I was rebellious and didn't appreciate it. I'm just thankful that I have the opportunity to do it now because I certainly appreciate what it means and I'm super excited!

I moved! From upstairs to downstairs (lol). I have my own bathroom and a larger closet and it's better. I'm in a home with 2 men at this point though and that was the decision that I had to make. Noone is thrilled that I'm the only female and I'm certainly not either but at least I do have my own spaces. I am looking for a house with Jen and Mikal. Hopefully we can find one that has a finished basement and a seperate entrance. That's pretty much the only way we will be able to live together.

Speaking of Jen and Mikal, they have been out west for the past 3 weeks. It's driving me insane! I miss them like crazy and I know I'm missing stuff with Abby too and I hate it! It just confirms for me that I'm obsessed with her and it can't be healthy. Maybe I need to join a group or something but she is all I think about. :)

Briley is a year old!! I can't believe it! It seems like just a few months ago I was driving down to meet her at a week old. She was so super tiny. She's got 9 teeth and is trying to walk. She gets soo mad at her Pawpaw (who can blame her?!) that she tries to bite him and herself too. She's a funny one.

I am doing research on ways to get into school. I've got to go back again. I've taken a class or two here or there but I'm ready to go back full time. I'm deciding between a few different medical things but I'm still leaning toward nursing. We'll see where it goes.

Nauvoo....sweet, sweet Nauvoo.

absolutely loved my vacation to Nauvoo. It is exactly what I needed and it came at the right time. I missed Abby and General like crazy but it was great. I accidentally left my phone in Tennessee so I had no phone service the entire time we were there unless I used someone else's which I really only did on my birthday (I turned old...27). It's crazy to me how we used to survive and never had cell phones but it was a blessing because I would have been preoccupied the entire time if I'd had it. We saw so many different sites and I learned so much that I never would have learned if I hadn't had the opportunity to go.

I encourage everyone to make a trip to Nauvoo. If you need a testimony builder, that's where it's at. My testimony was strong but now it is rock solid and stronger than ever. I absolutely cannot wait to receive my endowments in the Nauvoo Temple! We will be going this fall and I'm super excited for it because that is "my" temple!




Joseph Smith's home

The Nauvoo Temple @ sunrise

Today is the day.

At 9AM, I go for the divorce hearing. I'm scared to death. I'm excited, nervous, heartbroken, and terrified all at the same time. Everyone keeps saying it won't be that bad but I loved him. Wholeheartedly, with everything I had, I loved him! And now it's done. Over. And while I know it's for the best, I also know that it's not what I wanted. It took forever for me to get to this point. We've been separated for a year and a half and while I begged for his info such as his address, I really just wanted to know where he was. Most of that time, I had no intention on filing anything. Even when I moved to TN I wanted him to come up here and put my stuff in his truck and take me home. I'm glad that never happened now, but it's still the hardest thing I've ever done besides bury my grandmother. It's just hard and I need a mourning period for it. I'm absolutely heartbroken and the one person that can comfort me is on his way to FL, and he's not my husband anymore.

My birthday is coming up!

And I want this. You can all chip in and buy it for me. ;) Seriously, I want a bike and I want a cruiser. I can't stand those little seats and changing gears. I just want to get on and ride like I used to do when I was little. I LOVE riding bikes and dang it, I'm going ot get in shape if it's the last thing I do and it very well may be because it may actually kill me. lol Anyway, the link is to the one that I want. I'll get it eventually.

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10256413&findingMethod=rr

Influences, good ones.

Some are good and some are not so good. I'm wondering what kind I am. I feel like I'm a good influence but thinking that because of my little "crush" and the details of the person some may think I'm not. All I can say is that I know I can't do anything about it nor am I trying to. Do I wish for there to be something there? Yes, but I have about 15 more months to find out and I'm thinking I'm good with that. Am I being realistic about it? Yes. I know the "most likely's" to this equation. I'm not stupid. It's nice having something to look forward to though.

On another note, I have a few other things I'm thinking of. I'm looking and we'll leave it at that. I'm quite excited about it as well. And I'm saving up.

On a great note, Nauvoo is in less than a month. I'd like to be with Abby for my birthday but I'm sooo excited to go to Nauvoo. I absolutely cannot wait. I only wish I were temple ready and had a recommend. That's ok. I will be in the fall. I think I will go to Nashville even though Nauvoo sounds more grand. Nashville feels right though. I suppose I should pray about it, huh? I would love it if my Mom were able to go through with me. What a wonderful experience that would be!

Gracie & Aunt Jackie






Me, Matt, Jen, Abby & Mikal



Abby LOOOVED her ice cream!


Daddy & Abby

Jen & Me on the way to Columbia to take Elder Jolley's birthday stuff to him.

More pics from May

Abby @ Great Grampa's in the grass.




Abby snuggled up with Granny when she came for Mother's Day!


Gracie & Abby looking cute & stuff in matching dresses.



Abby playing with her tractor @ 3AM

Bremen, AL while trying to find the highway. This is the one lane road I was on for 15 miles. Thanks, GPS.

I fell off the bandwagon...

the blogging bandwagon. I was doing well and then we started making a trip to Alabama every week it seems and I lost time to do anything. May has been busy. We went to AL the first Sunday for decoration with our Dad's family which went well. The GPS tried to get me lost several times while there, but it was a great trip and I love to see family that we don't often get to see which always happens when you have a huge family. We've made a few other trips as well and it's been good because it's allowed me to see some friends that I don't normally get to visit with.

This past Saturday, we ventured down to Alabama again to see one of our favorite missionaries, Matt. Jen and I have both seen him a few times since his mission when we were in Utah but neither of us have seen him in about 9 years so it was pretty awesome that he was coming down. We've both always felt like we were kind of stalking him so when he sent us a message and asked us if we could come down, I have to admit, I was pretty shocked. We knew we felt pretty strongly for him but never knew it was reciprocated. We thoroughly enjoyed this trip though. We stayed with Marcie and her family which was great because we haven't spent time with her in years either. I can NOT believe how big her kids are; especially Marnae!

So, while May has been busy, we've been busy taking pictures. There are a ton so I'm posting some. We all know I hate how blogger posts pics so the ones you see up top are the ones from this month.



Me & Holly!


Pioneer Baby Abby



Gracie Mae!




Elder Jolley & Elder Boswell at Santa Fe where we took them to dinner. (Took this with my phone while laughing so it's pretty blurry.)

Samuel

So Excited!!

I know that due to being horribly rebellious and not having great timing this is a little late, but I am getting my Patriarchal Blessing! Most of us get them when we are teens but I do everything in my own time and I'm very excited to be getting mine very soon!

Yes, this means I finally talked to the Bishop and he is awesome! We truly have the best bishop ever. I've never met a man so understanding and uplifting. I instantly felt calm when I went in and although I sobbed (it was the whole broken heart and contrite spirit thing) I feel soo much better. So all that is left to do is make this right with Heavenly Father and Bishop said that I can be on my way to the temple in the fall. I'm SO excited! I absolutely cannot wait to go to the temple and do everything I possibly can. After all, it's about the end result right?!

It's hot.

I hate summer. I don't like being hot and I don't like thinking about being hot. I hate the though of sweating. I like the water but don't like to have to get back into my clothes afterward.

There. That is my pessimistic rant for the day.


On a good note, I have word from my lawyer that July 4 will be the day. Yes, I will be divorced by then. I'm sooooo freaking excited! It's about time something good happened for my birthday! So, we will be celebrating that weekend. In all honesty though, it will be bittersweet. Yes, my marriage ended but I don't see it as a failure because I learned SO much from him. Both good and bad things were learned and I am rising above all of the bad things. :) A part of me will always love him but not in a romantic kind of way. I will always love the kids and want them to succeed and do great things that they are so very capable of.

All I am doing right now is looking forward to the future! It holds great things for me and I've hit the ground running!

My favorite Scripture

I was reading my scriptures the other night and came upon this in the BoM. Ether 12:28 says "Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me the fountain of all righteousness."

Another new favorite is 2 Nephi 4:35 and it says, "Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God."