At 9AM, I go for the divorce hearing. I'm scared to death. I'm excited, nervous, heartbroken, and terrified all at the same time. Everyone keeps saying it won't be that bad but I loved him. Wholeheartedly, with everything I had, I loved him! And now it's done. Over. And while I know it's for the best, I also know that it's not what I wanted. It took forever for me to get to this point. We've been separated for a year and a half and while I begged for his info such as his address, I really just wanted to know where he was. Most of that time, I had no intention on filing anything. Even when I moved to TN I wanted him to come up here and put my stuff in his truck and take me home. I'm glad that never happened now, but it's still the hardest thing I've ever done besides bury my grandmother. It's just hard and I need a mourning period for it. I'm absolutely heartbroken and the one person that can comfort me is on his way to FL, and he's not my husband anymore.
And I want this. You can all chip in and buy it for me. ;) Seriously, I want a bike and I want a cruiser. I can't stand those little seats and changing gears. I just want to get on and ride like I used to do when I was little. I LOVE riding bikes and dang it, I'm going ot get in shape if it's the last thing I do and it very well may be because it may actually kill me. lol Anyway, the link is to the one that I want. I'll get it eventually.
Some are good and some are not so good. I'm wondering what kind I am. I feel like I'm a good influence but thinking that because of my little "crush" and the details of the person some may think I'm not. All I can say is that I know I can't do anything about it nor am I trying to. Do I wish for there to be something there? Yes, but I have about 15 more months to find out and I'm thinking I'm good with that. Am I being realistic about it? Yes. I know the "most likely's" to this equation. I'm not stupid. It's nice having something to look forward to though.
On another note, I have a few other things I'm thinking of. I'm looking and we'll leave it at that. I'm quite excited about it as well. And I'm saving up.
On a great note, Nauvoo is in less than a month. I'd like to be with Abby for my birthday but I'm sooo excited to go to Nauvoo. I absolutely cannot wait. I only wish I were temple ready and had a recommend. That's ok. I will be in the fall. I think I will go to Nashville even though Nauvoo sounds more grand. Nashville feels right though. I suppose I should pray about it, huh? I would love it if my Mom were able to go through with me. What a wonderful experience that would be!
the blogging bandwagon. I was doing well and then we started making a trip to Alabama every week it seems and I lost time to do anything. May has been busy. We went to AL the first Sunday for decoration with our Dad's family which went well. The GPS tried to get me lost several times while there, but it was a great trip and I love to see family that we don't often get to see which always happens when you have a huge family. We've made a few other trips as well and it's been good because it's allowed me to see some friends that I don't normally get to visit with.
This past Saturday, we ventured down to Alabama again to see one of our favorite missionaries, Matt. Jen and I have both seen him a few times since his mission when we were in Utah but neither of us have seen him in about 9 years so it was pretty awesome that he was coming down. We've both always felt like we were kind of stalking him so when he sent us a message and asked us if we could come down, I have to admit, I was pretty shocked. We knew we felt pretty strongly for him but never knew it was reciprocated. We thoroughly enjoyed this trip though. We stayed with Marcie and her family which was great because we haven't spent time with her in years either. I can NOT believe how big her kids are; especially Marnae!
So, while May has been busy, we've been busy taking pictures. There are a ton so I'm posting some. We all know I hate how blogger posts pics so the ones you see up top are the ones from this month.
Me & Holly!
Pioneer Baby Abby
Elder Jolley & Elder Boswell at Santa Fe where we took them to dinner. (Took this with my phone while laughing so it's pretty blurry.)
Well, I'm a newlywed!! Duston and I got married December 19, 2010 and we are happy! We live in Nashville with our almost 5 year old boston terrier, General. Duston has a son, Hayden, who is 3 and 100% boy! :) I am a member of the only true church on earth and proud of it! I strive each day to live my life the way that I should and even though I often fail, I get back up and try it again so this blog is the story of us and the combination of things. Enjoy.